- minute forty four -

Movies, Craft Beer and Geek Stuff

Rants, Technology and Web, Web design

8 second industry-fucks

You know what pisses me off? Microsoft adverts. Seriously they all reek of clueless grandad trying to be “cool” and, well, they’re just annoying as crap. But the series of ads for Internet Explorer 8 have really burried the needle on my bullshit-o-meter. As I may have mentioned in a previous post (I can’t remember) I’m a firm believer in educating the dullards over dumbing down the tools to suit the lowest common denominator. IE8, more specifically the adverts for IE8, as such play jump-rope with my last nerve!

Case in point, the one where the woman starts by saying “So you receive an email that looks like it’s from your bank, you click on it…” Woah, woah WOAH!! What the fuck!? So now you’re saying “it’s fine to be a complete fucking idiot, your browser will stop all the nasty Internet scammers from running a train on your bank account”?? Jee, thanks for the mixed messages there Microsoft. One minute your software is so paranoid you can’t even run a program without it freaking out like Rainman at the airport and the next you’re saying, “you know what, that message from ‘your bank’… go ahead and click on it, it’s all fine”.

There’s another one where the woman (sexist overtones?) starts by saying “So you click to get this free download and…” Now I admit that it’s less moronic to be duped by a dodgy site offering wallpapers and screen-savers than it is to get caught on a phisherman’s hook but still you have to be pretty dim-witted to fall victim to either.

The really worrying thing is that the adverts are probably pretty effective. People are probably now thinking “it’s okay I’m using that there Internet Explorer, I’m safe online because the man on the TV says so.” when there’s a very real chance that they aren’t even running the latest version and an even realer (more real?) chance that they have out-of-date or no antivirus solution installed. Let’s not forget that IE8 is still an unconscionably awful browser that EIGHT VRSIONS IN still can’t render a rounded corner or a fucking shadow!

Seriously, Microsoft. Pull your heads out of your arses and get real! It’s not like you make any money from IE so why put all that money into bullshit advertising. Do what other vendors do and put the money into developing great standards support and actually making websites look good. If you still feel the need to parade a bunch of over-happy fuck-wits on the TV why not spend 8 seconds with one saying “So you receive an email that looks like it’s from your bank. You should delete it immediately as 99 times out of 100 it’ll be a virus or a scam. If your bank really want to give something to you, they’ll use the post.”

/sigh. Rant over. Next: “Windows 7 was NOT your fucking idea, cocknose. And even if it was, that’s not something to be proud of! Now get back on your fucking treadmill!”

5 comments

  1. kym - March 30, 2010 9:30 am

    HAHAHAHHA! Nice rant Dan.

    I hadn’t seen those adverts before, I can’t even make out what she is saying in part of it.

  2. Rick - March 30, 2010 9:40 am

    You tell ’em Schonhaar!

  3. Benjamin Reid - March 30, 2010 9:48 am

    That’s brilliant, I’m completely agree!

    This is pure gold: “Windows 7 was NOT your fucking idea, cocknose. And even if it was, that’s not something to be proud of! Now get back on your fucking treadmill!”

  4. Adam - March 30, 2010 9:53 am

    Love it!

    Glad to know I am not the only one to cringe at those adverts… and IE

  5. Sam Hardacre - March 30, 2010 10:02 am

    I agree wholeheartedly mate!

    They can add as much anti-phishing software as they like but there’ll always be ways to break it. There’s no substitute for human common sense.

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