Unthinkable

Starring: Samuel L Jackson, Michael Sheen, Carrie Anne Moss
Directed by: Gregor Jordan

When an FBI agent Brody (Moss) and a black-ops interrogator, H (Jackson) are brought in to press a terror suspect (Sheen) for the whereabouts of three nuclear bombs, right and wrong no longer exist.

When conventional interrogation methods fail, high level officials authorise H to use his signature torture techniques to extract the information, no matter the cost. Sickened by what she sees, it is up to agent Brody to get the information and find the bombs before H tortures a man to death and the the values of a nation are irreparably tarnished.

It took me a day or two to figure out whether I enjoyed this movie or not, and that I suppose is the whole point. Like Hard Candy, Unthinkable toys with what you think you know about right and wrong and it does this very, very well. Sure the pace is a tad uneven and it can be a bit bull-in-a-china-shop in places but on the whole I really quite enjoyed it. Moss, Sheen and Jackson delivered commendable performances, even if some of the supporting cast left a little to be desired, and the direction was more than competent, acting as a great tension builder.

Verdict:

If you enjoyed this, check out: Hard Candy, The Siege, The Sum of All Fears

From Paris With Love

Starring: John Travolta, Jonathan Rhys Meyers
Directed by: Pierre Morel

When handed his first “real” assignment, low-level CIA operative James Reece (who is acting as personal aid to the US ambassador in Paris) couldn’t be more thrilled… until he meets his partner. Trigger-happy, wise-cracking Charlie Wax leads Reece on a white-knuckle trail of destruction through the Parisian underworld and leaves him craving his desk job once again. But when Reece discovers he may be involved in the terrorist plot they are trying to stop, he realises he has no choice but to stick with Wax.

Like a cinematic meat-head, From Paris With Love packs a lot of punch with very little brains. Action, reminiscent of a ham fisted Jon Woo is drawn out by a ridiculous story and dialogue that would make porno script writers cringe. Travolta is too old to be doing this kind of thing and Meyers… well Meyers was okay but, let’s face it, you can’t polish a turd.

While not the best remove-brain-insert-popcorn movie ever made, From Paris WithLove did have its moments. Some of the fight scenes were exciting and some of the big explosion set pieces were pretty good too.

Verdict:

If you enjoyed this, check out: The 51st State, The Big Hit

The Book of Eli

Starring: Denzel Washington, Gary Oldman, Mila Kunis
Directed by: Albert and Allen Hughes

Eli, a lone traveller makes his way across a post-apocalyptic America with  a book that holds the key to mankind’s salvation or destruction. When he stops at a small trading post for water Eli encounters Carnegie (Oldman) who is intent on obtaining the book to control the town’s population and branch out to other settlements.

Solara (Kunis), one of Carnegie’s captives, decides to help Eli reach his destination and make sure that the book doesn’t fall into Carnegie’s hands. The pair make the last effort to reach the west coast, pursued by Carnegie and his band of mercenaries but can they reach their destination in time?

Remember how Deep Impact and Armageddon were released pretty much at the same time and they were nearly the same movie? Well The Book of Eli was, bizarrely released at the same time as The Road. The only fundamental plot difference between the two movies is that Eli has a specific destination. The protagonists in The Road just had to keep moving. That said, I think I enjoyed The Book of Eli a little bit more. It wasn’t as subtle with its message but the pace was a lot nicer and the ending wasn’t so depressing.

At first I thought the movie was a little too Jesus-tastic but the more I think about it the more I realise The Book of Eli is as much of an indictment of organised religion as it is a case for its existence. Combine this interesting story with some intense action and threat and you actually have a pretty successful movie.

Verdict:

If you enjoyed this, check out: The Road

A Serious Man

Starring: Michael Stuhlbarg, Richard Kind, Fred Melamed
Directed by: Joel & Ethan Coen

A Serious man follows Larry Gopnik, a Jewish college professor who watches his life suddenly unravel by way of a number of sudden unfortunate events. While looking for meaning in this troubled time, Larry not only finds no answers but stumbles into yet more misfortune.

Seriously odd-ball, A Serious Man is Coen Brothers through and through. This will most certainly not be for everyone but I was pleasantly surprised. While not laugh-out-loud funny you will find yourself identifying with how comically accurate a representation of day to day life it is. Not only this, you’ll find yourself exploring the ideas and undertones of the movie in your own mind for days afterwards and I don’t think I’m the only person who will want to watch it again in the future.

Performances were great all round and despite being a tad self-indulgent on the directors’ part the movie holds together very well.

Verdict:

If you enjoyed this, check out: Burn After Reading, No Country for Old Men, Donnie Darko (trust me, you’ll get why after you watch it)

Dorothy

Starring: Carice Van Houten, Jenn Murray
Directed by: Agnes Merlet

When a court appointed psychiatrist Jane Van Dopp arrives on a remote island to investigate Dorothy, a troubled young girl accused of abusing a baby she was babysitting she soon discovers that not everything is as it seems with Dorothy or the community on the island.

What at first seems like a textbook case of multiple-personality disorder begins to reveal itself to be something all together more supernatural and sinister. Can Jane solve the mystery in time to save herself and Dorothy?

Not at all what I was expecting, Dorothy is a fairly decent concept for a film and offers a nice twist on the usual multiple personality story. Unfortunately a low budget, unrefined direction and underwhelming cast let it down. The strongest cast member was Jenn Murray who played Dorothy and five other personalities throughout the movie but even this was sketchy at best.

The film’s marketing job was a bit of an abortion, if I’m honest. The trailers, packaging and tag lines all set the movie up to be like The Exorcist, Godsend or Birth when in actual fact it has more in common with Raising Cain and Deliverance. The interesting premise makes Dorothy worth a watch… just.

Verdict:

If you enjoyed this, check out: Raising Cain, Identity

Alice in Wonderland

Starring: Pretty much everyone you’d expect in a Tim Burton movie.
Directed by: Tim Burton

Tim Burton’s long-awaited re-imagining of the classic Alice in Wonderland sees Mia Wasikowska play Alice, a 19 year old girl who falls into a world from her childhood imagination to fulfill her destiny; to end the Red Queen’s reign of terror.

Although typically twisted and bizarre, Alice in Wonderland seemed to be a little too disjointed and removed from the source material. Proof positive that you can only mutate something so much before it becomes something else entirely. Burton did the exact same thing with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Things seemed to just happen that, I’m sure made sense in the mind of Tim Burton but to average Joe, just seem totally misplaced and random.

One saving grace was the level of acting on show. Depp and co. performed admirably and smaller performances from Alan Rickman and Stephen Fry went down a treat.

Unfortunately, this time Burton has gone a bit too far into the surreal and turned out something a bit naff and all over the place. I’d much rather see the likes of his earlier work such as Beetlejuice and Batman. Those were the real gems.

Verdict:

If you enjoyed this, check out: The work of Salvador Dali

Like I said, let me know if you like this format because I’ve got a couple of days off work at the end of the week so chances are I’ll be doing the same again. I already have 44 Inch Chest and Splice ear-marked.

In a bit!

Twenty-six years and seven sequels later, Wes Craven’s most recognisable horror creation is re-booted. This re-imagining of the classic horror tale has been on my radar for some time now as I was a huge fan of the 1984 original starring Heather Langenkamp, John Saxon and Robert Englund as Freddy Krueger. When I heard that Jackie Earle Haley (Rorschach from Watchmen) was set to play Krueger in the reboot I was even more excited to see what could be done with Craven’s over-worked baby.

What we have here is pretty much a straight re-make. Very little in the way of artistic licence has been utilised. I guess the makers didn’t want to stray too far from the source material in fear of a backlash from the die-hard fans (Odd, seeing as most of these die-hard fans were against any form of re-make from the outset.) The major changes are seen in Freddy’s back-story, something that was only touched on in the 1984 film. Instead of a child killer, Krueger is now portrayed as a paedophile with a penchant for knives and cutting who is outed by his young, victims; pupils at the pre-school where Krueger worked as a gardener. I’d seen some reviews complaining about this deviation but I thought it was handled very well. It brought the subject matter very much into the 21st century and added to Freddy’s malevolence in a way that would have probably been hard to do back in the 80’s.

As for Freddy’s character; Haley pretty much nailed it. Gone are the days of Robert Englund’s over-exaggerated campness. Haley’s Krueger is darker, nuanced and infinitely more threatening. This is only enhanced by the new look to the makeup. OTT pizza-face is out and gaunt, hollow realistic burns victim is in. Black emotionless eyes coupled with Haley’s deep growl make for a more than successful re-imagining of a horror icon.

Unfortunately this is where the good points stop. Aside from Freddy there is not one memorable character; at least none that you’d want to remember. Langenkamp’s strong yet vulnerable Nancy is replaced with an under-developed, awfully acted character who, if it wasn’t for the amount of screen time, you’d mistake for a third tier supporting character, not the lead. Her troubled kinda love interest type person, Quentin (Gallner), feels like a character we’ve seen a hundred times and wish would just fuck off. Oh yeah, and Nancy’s dad (you remember; the town Sheriff)… nowhere to be seen! What, did the money run out?

But at least there’s some sick gore and memorable kills right? WRONG! Even with all the very expensive special effects in this movie, the kills in the 1984 version were a hundred fold better. The one where the girl is thrown around the room by an invisible Freddy sucked in this version! The scene where Nancy’s boyfriend is pulled into his bed before being ejected in liquid form all over the cieling wasn’t even in this one! And it’s not just the kills that are replaced with cheap knock-offs. Marshmallow stairs are replaced with poorly lit, crude oil hallway and booby-trapped house gives way to generic dingy school basement. Gay!

On the whole, the movie was watchable. However this was only because Jackie Earle Haley carried the fucking thing, single handedly, from start to finish. I hope we see him for a sequel because his version of Freddy is something I want to see more of but for the love of god; hire some better writers and a director with half a  fucking clue!

Verdict:

It’s been six months (well about 2 years, our time) since Tony Stark threw down his cue cards and announced to the world that he was Iron Man. The world is a different place, it is at peace and the worlds first walking nuclear deterrent doesn’t only have to worry about enemies on the battlefield. The government wants his suit, his company is on the verge of ruin and the arc reactor chest piece that saved his life is now beginning to kill him. When things couldn’t get more challenging, enter Ivan Vanko, son of Howard Stark’s disgraced Russian employee, intent on destroying Tony; not just the man, but the symbol he has become.

I’ve been waiting for this since the credits rolled on the first movie back in 2008. Since then I’ve been drip fed nuggets of info that have just made me want to see it even more. War Machine, a new Iron Man suit Black Widow and more cool tech than you can shake a repulsor at. Couple that with rumors that the movie would see an even stronger resemblance to the source material (the comics) and you’ve got the makings of one exciting movie.

As has become the standard with Marvel comics adaptations since Marvel studios took full control of the productions; I was not disappointed. It seems the team at Marvel studios aren’t stupid, well they have been giving geeks what they want for over 60 years. They kept all the things that made the first movie so great and then added more!

The movie is certainly intense; especially the Monaco grand prix scene which, thankfully, the trailers didn’t ruin at all. War machine and The Black Widow are introduced in an unfamiliar but graceful way. Even the one character I had my reservations over, Micky Rourke’s Ivan Vanko, was skillfully and effectively portrayed and despite him not getting that much screen time still painted an appropriate amount of threat through the story.

One thing is clear in Iron Man 2; Marvel love tie-ins. Any fan of their comics has seen how good they are at crossover storylines with Civil War, Secret Invasion, Dark Reign and most recently Siege being very well received. No surprise then that in Iron Man 2 we see a shit load of subtle (and not so subtle) references to upcoming titles The Avengers, Captain America and (if you stay past the credits) Thor. These references work in varying degrees but even at their worst, see Cap’s shield, don’t do much to tarnish the movie.

So the performances were all good, the action and geek-o-meter all satisfied and it was as consistent, with regards to the first movie, as it could ever hoped to have been. However it wasn’t without its problems. As with the first movie, Iron Man 2 suffers a kind of cinematic premature ejaculation. It peaks early and once this happens the plot seems to wander a long while before returning for its second wind which isn’t as good as its previous, premature climax. For me the grand prix fight between Iron Man and Vanko is infinately more exciting than their final confrontation, albeit not as grand.

The movie also kind of teeters on the edge of a common comic book movie killer; character soup, y’know, that thing Spider-man 3 had. Though oddly I kind of wish some characters who didn’t appear did have little roles. For example I was well psyched for seeing Iron Man throw down with the Hulk, something that was rumored for some time during the movie’s production. But hey ho.

All in all this was a really entertaining movie and a more than competent sequel. Let’s hope that they hold it together for the next installment and, of course The Avengers.

Verdict:

Based on a comic book mini-series that wasn’t even finished when production began, Kick-Ass follows Dave Lizewski, a teenager who buys a costume and hits the streets as a “super hero” to help people. Using the moniker Kick-Ass he discovers that he is way out of his depth when he meets the real deal in the form of Hit Girl and Big Daddy, a father and daughter pair of vigilantes on the trail of mob boss Frank D’Amico. As Kick Ass begins to get the blame for the pair’s “work” he finds himself in the sights of the D’Amico family who put their own “super-hero” on the streets to trap Kick-Ass.

I’ve been excited about this movie ever since I read issue one of the series about a year ago. I only became more and more excited as I only heard good things from magazines and other reviews. Empire gave it a full five stars. In actual fact the movie left me conflicted. Here’s why.

I’m not going to lie to you. I massively enjoyed the movie. It was cool, snappy and didn’t try to pull any punches with language or violence like many films do these days to secure a lower certificate. Characters, especially Hit Girl were portrayed wonderfully and I really can’t see a weak link in the cast. Similarly, the direction, score and action were all top notch. No problems there either. What left me conflicted was the not so graceful deviations from the source material: the comic book series.

I’m the first to admit that in certain comic to film adaptations you have to make changes, either to flash out the content to fit a 2 hour movie or to cover up things that simply can’t be translated from comics (see Wolverine’s blue and yellow spandex). In Kick-Ass, though things were changed that really shouldn’t have been. Most of these I could overlook but two points; climax and Dave’s relationship with the girl of his dreams differed so much that it left me feeling disappointed. Maybe if you hadn’t read the comics these things wouldn’t bother you. but they bothered me.

***Possible Spoilers***

But the thing, on reflection that bothered me the most is how they translated the character Red Mist (Christopher Mintz Plasse) from comic to screen. In the comics, the true nature of Red Mist is only revealed when the double-cross is punctuated by a swift pistol whip to the back of Kick-Ass’ skull. In the movie, the set-up is dealt with out in the open and as such an opportunity for a great plot twist is thrown away.

In the grand scheme of things these flaws are minor. Kick-Ass is up there with Iron Man and Watchmen at the top end of the comic to film genre. I recommend you go and see it then read the comics.

Verdict:

American History X (1998)

Widely touted as a movie everyone should watch, American History X starrs Edward Norton and Edward Furlong. Active neo-nazi Derek Vinyard (Norton) is jailed for the manslaughter of a group of black gang members who were attempting to steal his car. During this time, his younger brother Danny (Furlong), begins to change his views and soon falls in with the same neo-Nazi crowd his brother was involved with. But life on the inside begins to open Derek’s eyes and he realises the error of his ways. When he is released does he have what it takes to convince Danny that the Nazi life is wrong… and does he have time?

Part present tense and part flashback (shot in beautiful black and white) American History X is about as powerful as a movie can be. Through to its shocking conclusion you’ll be hooked and then you’ll want to watch it again… and again.

Man on Fire (2004)

Starring Denzel Washington and Dakota Fanning, Man on Fire is the story of washed up former CIA agent John Creasy (Washington) who has been given a second chance working as a private bodyguard for Pita Ramos, the young daughter of a Mexican industrialist millionaire. Pita has a profound affect on Creasy, bringing him back from depression and the brink of suicide and all seems to be going well. Until Pita is violently kidnapped and Creasy is shot and nearly killed. After recovering from his injury, creasy vows to find and punish all involved with Pita’s abduction but he soon discovers that he’s up against more than a band of disorganised thugs.

Shot in the trademark Tony Scott style (a style I’m particularly fond of) Man on Fire is fast-paced brutal and thrilling. It’s clever enough to satisfy those who want more than action, action and more action but at the same time has a really well executed revenge movie at its core that will keep adrenaline junkies happy. Possibly Tony Scott’s finest film.

The prestige (2006)

Chris Nolan’s period mystery thriller, The Prestige has more twists and turns than the collective attractions of Alton Towers and is about as slick as it gets. It tells the story to two rival magicians, Robert (Hugh Jackman) and Alfred (Christian Bale) who’s quest to out-do one another on stage leads to a deadly rivalry when Alfred makes a mistake which leads to the death of Robert’s wife in front of a live audience.

The story commands quite a lot of your attention, not only because of the complexities of the subject matter but also the way in which it is told. It is mostly told in flashback following Alfred being arrested and tried for Roberts murder. But believe me; nothing about this movie is what it seems. I watched the Blu-Ray recently and it really looks and feels great in HD but either way, you should see it.

A History of Violence (2005)

This movie sort of blindsided me, and I’m not alone. I don’t think any critics saw it coming and it bitch slapped them as much as it did me. A History of Violence tells the story of Tom Stall (Viggo Mortensen), a family man and diner owner in a small town who becomes a local celebrity after killing two violent intruders who took diner customers hostage in an attempted robbery. This minor fame is more curse than blessing for Tom though as he is soon visited by some unsavoury characters from a past he has worked too hard to escape to let ruin his new life.

If the title didn’t give this away, this movie is VIOLENT! Some of the death scenes are extremely gory and will make you cringe. The story isn’t subtle, the characters aren’t exactly nuanced (except maybe William Hurt’s character) but the film is massively enjoyable.

Up (2009)

After the last 4 movies were more than a little dark and violent, I thought I’d end with what I believe was the sleeper hit of last year. Pixar’s Up didn’t have the usual massive launch of the usual Pixar fare partly because the story was so oddball the studios didn’t feel it warranted much of a marketing investment. It’s the story of Mr Fredricksen, a widower who, with the help of many thousands of helium balloons flies his and his late wife’s house to south America to live out the couple’s dream of living near Paradise Falls. Only when his house is in the air, though does he discover that he is accompanied by a young boy, Russell who stowed away on the front porch. When the pair arrive near the falls they need to walk the still just floating house the last few miles but encounter more than a few obstacles including Mr. Fredricksen’s former childhood hero.

Despite its limited release and weird story, Up is perhaps as perfect as a movie can be. The acting is superb, the animation is second to none. The appeal is ageless, anyone from 5 to 105 can watch and totally enjoy Up and I can’t recommend strongly enough that you do.

That’s all for this month folks. Hopefully normal service will resume next month. Ta ta!

Tired of mankind’s wicked ways, God has had enough. He instructs his general; The Archangel Michael (Bettany), to lead his army to earth to exterminate the human race for good. Convinced that there is still hope for man, Michael gives God the finger, heads down to Earth and cuts off his wings, transubstantiating into complete human form and heads to a diner in the middle of nowhere. There he meets up with a motley crew of misfits including a woman pregnant with man’s only saviour. It is here the final battle for mankind’s survival will unfold. Oh yeah, did I mention that Michael has a fuck load of guns? Probably should have.

Got all that? Good. Legion had some decent potential. Constantine mixed with Assault on Precinct 13 mixed with The Prophecy… with MOAR GUNZ!? Hell yeah it sounds like something I could get on board with. The reality, however wasn’t so great. In fact, it was downright disappointing. Not the plot or premise so much but the execution.

First of all, the dialogue was apparently written by a 5 year old. Subtle and nuanced is most certainly was not. Plus, I got the distinct impression that at certain (seemingly random) points during a scene that someone behind the camera gave the actors a signal to throw in an arbitrary F-Bomb. That’s how asinine it was. The only saving grace here was Charles S. Dutton gave the best dialogue of the whole movie and a pretty decent gag related to his character’s prosthetic hand.

Next big problem was how dark the bloody thing was. I appreciate that it probably didn’t have a monumental budget but come on, guy! Shrouding everything in total darkness might cover your bargain basement CGI but it’s fucking annoying. Did AVP2 not teach us anything!? Had it not been for this, the movie might have just been passable as a semi-decent Saturday afternoon actionfest… but no, the bastards ruined that too!

The final nail in the coffin for this debacle is the fact that it used every cliche in the book! Not just the action and scenes, things like 9mm MP5s that can not only shred cars from 500m away but also never run out of bullets, but even the camera work! It seemed like every other shot was a panning close-up of a person or object with a horribly executed shallow depth of field that looked like a faux tilt-shift photoshop effect.

“At least we get to see a kick ass fight between some hard-core angels and shit right?” No. You see 2 minutes of hopelessly dark blurry CGI followed by some bullshit cop-out of an ending that will leave you going “What… but what about the… WHAT!??! Oh fuck you, movie!”

So yeah, Not so much.

Verdict:

When his daughter is gunned down in front of him, aging detective Thomas Craven (Mel Gibson) begins an investigation that will lead him into the darkest realms of corporate conspiracy and government corruption. Edge of Darkness sees Gibson return to kicking ass and taking names and also stars Ray Winstone and Danny Huston.

The most notable thing about this movie is that you don’t get what the trailers lead you to believe you’ll be getting. From the very first (and very gory) death scene, Edge of Darkness is a fast paced revenge come man-with-nothing-left-to-lose tell with some great suspense and a marvelous performance from Gibson. Anyone who thinks he’s too old can sit down and shut up!

Truth be told, this movie has a great deal in common with Taken, a movie that received mixed reviews but I, personally loved every ass-kicking minute of. What Edge of Darkness has, however that Taken didn’t have is a surprisingly complex plot involving a rather large amount of characters. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not as complicated as something like Primer but it’s not your average brain-dead shoot-em-up either. The number of characters, however did the movie one small injustice in that, at times the pace was a little jittery and fractured as newly introduced characters are developed (as with Ray Winstone’s character) outside the context of the main plot.

This flaw is only a minor one, however and the sheer adrenaline and ferocity of Mel Gibson’s character are enough to satisfactorily fill any cracks that may appear. The flaw that costs the movie the fifth star, though is the ending… I mean the very ending… I mean literally the 30 seconds before the end credits roll which, because of spoilers I won’t go into. It almost felt like an afterthought, or maybe even an added extra thrown in at the whim of a certain aging Christianity enthusiast… say no more. The scene that directly precedes this could have been played up a lot more to create a far more satisfying finale (think the end of Watchmen).

All things considered, Edge of Darkness remains an extremely accomplished and entertaining conspiracy thriller with enough thematic backbone to stand up to all the action, bullets and snappy dialogue that the director and star could throw at it.

Verdict:

Moon (2009)

Sometimes what we need as movie lovers is something to strip things back to the old school to remind us that a genre is worth our time. Moon did this for the sci-fi genre. Written and directed by Duncan Jones (David Bowie’s son), Moon tells the story of Sam Bell (Sam Rockwell); the lone occupant of a lunar mining station coming to the end of his three-year rotation. But with just a few days to go Sam begins to see strange things. These hallucinations cause him to crash a lunar vehicle and become trapped. Things get really weird when Sam is rescued by an apparent clone of himself.

A super stylish tale of paranoia and the malice of the multi-billion dollar mining corporation; Moon is a triumph. The confusion and claustrophobia are palpable and the ending will leave you slack-jawed but totally satisfied. A rare thing in modern movies.

Can’t Hardly Wait (1998)

So with coming-of-age comedies having had somewhat of a revival with Empire Records in ‘95 one of the earliest of the new school teen comedies that spawned American Pie and the like was Can’t Hardly Wait. Starring Ethan Embry and Jennifer Love Hewitt, Can’t Hardly Wait is story of the last high school party before the class leave for college (Cliche now but quite fresh back then). It focuses on Preston’s last chance of give Amanda (Hewitt) a love letter he’s been holding on to since the first year of high school when Amanda moved from another town.

Running in parallel to this soppy love story is actually a pretty funny teen comedy. A good, old fashioned feel good movie Can’t Hardly Wait stands out among a bazillion other, sub par teen comedies. Sunday afternoon fare, for sure.

Street Kings (2008)

The third cop movie from writer/director David Ayer to feature in my recommendations, Street Kings is a story of crooked cops and betrayal in a Los Angeles police division. Keanu Reeves stars as Tom Ludlow, a great but disgraced cop battling alcoholism and discrimination. When a fellow cop is murdered Tom begins to see where the trail of deceit leads.

Featuring Forest Whittaker and Hugh Laurie (as House MD in everything but name and limp) Street Kings is a high action, fast paced cop thriller with all the tension of Ayer’s other greats, Training Day and Harsh Times. If you enjoyed them, you’ll enjoy this. Simple.

Disturbing Behaviour (1998)

Not quite teen movie, not quite horror and not quite sci-fi, Disturbing Behaviour is a bit of an oddball. It stars James Marsden and Katie Holmes before she went all schizo and married that dwarf and revolves around Steve (Marsden) who is new to the town and sees that not everything is as perfect as it first appears with the “Blue Ribbons”; the group of seemingly perfect students. Steve, with the help of friends Gavin (Nick Stahl) and UV (Chad Donella) soon discovers that the Blue Ribbons are the result of an experiment with the aim of eliminating teenage rebellion and creating a perfect school.

Though not as slick as it could have been, Disturbing Behaviour is something a little different. You can clearly see that The Faculty draws a lot of its inspiration from it and for its time, it was pretty unique in the teen genre. Maybe not the very very best but a pretty good example.

Martyrs (2008)

I wasn’t sure about recommending this one. Ash suggested that I watch it after she said it scared her so much she couldn’t get through it. Martyrs is about a girl who goes after revenge some years after she escaped from a prolonged horrific abduction. Well, at least the first 20 minutes are. Then it gets reeeeally nasty!

Believe me when I say this; Martyrs is the most horrific film I’ve ever seen. Nothing is sugar coated and no punches are pulled. Most people who have seen this make the obvious reference to Hostel but me, I saw something darker. Something more akin to Hellraiser than Eli Roth’s blackly comical splatterfest. Really, really, really use your discretion with this one.

So that’s all of them, folks. Sorry for the dealy this time. Hopefully March part I will be on time. See you then.

Wolf Creek (2005)

Only the second Australian movie I’ve ever recommended, Wolf Creek is a terrifying story of a group of young backpackers who are stranded in the outback and rescued by a passing bushman. What at first seems like an end to their nightmare turns out to be only the beginning as one by one the group are picked off by their rescuer in a variety of sick and brutal ways.

Blindsided isn’t the word here. I had no idea this movie was going to turn out to be such a violent, horrifying journey or such a well executed bit of film making. The cast of unknowns add to the feeling that this could happen to anyone and the villain isn’t hammed up like a lot of Hollywood slashers are. It is bound to keep you on the edge of your seat until the very end.

Heathers (1988)

Heathers is seriously weird… In a good way. Imagine True Romance and Natural Born Killers if they were told in the form of an episode of Twin Peaks and you’d be getting close. What we essentially have is a high school love story between a girl who hates her friends (Wynona Rider) and a guy who hates everyone (Christian Slater). The two meet and begin a bizarre and hilarious murder spree cutting through the school’s popular cliques.

Everything about this movie is unconventional. The story, the music, the direction and especially the characters. While the clothes and vocabulary might be dated, the movie still stands the test of time. Weird, it seems, never goes out of fashion.

Stir of Echoes (1999)

Around the time we started to see rapid-fire low budget horror coming to the fore once again, out came Stir of Echoes starring Kevin Bacon. The plot revolves around Tom (Bacon) who is hypnotised by a family friend and later begins to see haunting images and what appears to be the ghost of a young girl (Yes, cliche now but not so much when it was released) He soon begins to realise that these are clues and he must get to the bottom of the girl’s death before the hauntings ruin his family’s life forever.

You have to be in the right frame of mind to see this. Don’t watch it expecting Oscar worthy performances or Kubrick calibre direction. This is good, old fashioned shock-horror. That said, it’s better than the majority and she story stands up fairly well too. Stir of Echoes will fit in nicely as part of a horror movie marathon or a lazy night on the couch movie with popcorn.

Fortress (1992)

Are you ready for some cheese!!? You are? Great, then here’s Fortress! Starring Christopher Lambert, yeah the Highlander, as John Brennick, a man who is thrown into a high security underground prison when he and his wife attempt to flee the country with their illegal, unborn baby (the country is under population control).  He makes it his mission to not only escape but rescue his wife (from the women’s wing of the same prison) and destroy the evil facility and its corrupt warden. See… CHEESE!!!

As cheesy as this movie is, you can’t fail to enjoy it. The dialogue is hilarious, the action is over the top and the plot is just bonkers. Unplug brain, open bag of your favourite movie snacks and just enjoy what some refer to as the last great B movie ever made.

Body Bags (1993)

A first for these recommendation posts of mine, Body Bags never had a theatrical release. The low budget horror anthology “hosted” by John Carpenter was made for TV and still airs from time to time very late at night. Directed by Carpenter as well as Tobe Hooper (Director of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) Body Bags consists of three short horror tales ; The Gas Station, Hair and Eye, and features cameos from some horror legends including Sam Raimi and Wes Craven.

What’s great about this is that you can tell that it wasn’t made to make a particular audience happy. Instead it feels like a personal project that Hooper and Carpenter made to entertain themselves. It certainly explains why it never reached cinemas. Of course it’s also because of this that the movie never saw much in the way of critical acclaim. Not everyone sees things like a horror writer. Indeed, the movie might be somewhat lost on anyone but a true horror fan but I feel it’s worth your 90 odd minutes just to see if you like it. I certainly did.

That’s it for this time folks. Later!

The Descent (2005)

One of the finest horror movies of the last 10 years, The Descent follows a group of female cavers out on an expedition in a newly discovered cave system in an unnamed area of the English countryside. When the group find themselves cut off from their exit, the terror ensues as they soon discover they are being stalked by a strange, terrifying predator.

This is a movie that caught me totally by surprise. Critics compared it to Creep which, although I thought was good, didn’t blow me away. What I got though was a much tighter, well polished and more terrifying experience. Watch this one alone, in the dark and I promise you’ll shit yourself with fear.

Hard Candy (2005)

When people think of Ellen Page they immediately think of the surprise hit Juno. But for me the movie that sets the young Canadian actress apart is her 2005 film Hard Candy. The story follows Hayley (Page), a 14 year old girl who meets a charming 32 year old photographer played by Patrick Wilson over the Internet and arranges to meet in real life. Suspecting he is a paedophile, Hayley sets about a gruesome and violent plan to expose him.

Another film that blindsided me, Hard Candy is one of those films that will have you thinking for days and weeks after watching it. As the movie progresses your sympathy switches from one character to the other and as accusations become facts and layers of untruth are peeled away you find yourself questioning your own beliefs. It is gripping in a way that most other movies ony dream of being. In my opinion, Ellen Page’s best work to date.

Dead Man’s Shoes (2004)

If revenge is a dish best served cold, Shane Meadows‘ gritty tale of vengeance burns you like a shot of liquid nitrogen. Sitting firmly in my top three British movies of all time, Dead Man’s Shoes follows Richard played by the superb Paddy Considine as he returns to his home town after a stint in the army to exact bloody revenge on the gang of petty criminals who brutalised his mentally challenged brother.

Brutal, frightening and gritty with a killer twist ending, Dead Man’s Shoes will draw you in like Richard himself reached through the screen and grabbed you by the collar. Filmed in Matlock, Derbyshire just up the road from where I live, the setting is unusual for a movie like this but Meadows makes it nothing short of perfect. The remote, dreary town seems almost like another character in league with Richard as he avenges his brother. This is a must-see thriller.

Harsh Times (2005)

From the writer of Training Day, David Ayer, comes Harsh Times, the brutal, dark tale of a friendship torn apart by violence and mental illness. After serving in Iraq Jim (Christian Bale) is having a hard time adjusting to life as a civilian. Haunted by the killing he saw and did while in the gulf Jim’s money is running out and as he and lifetime friend Mike (Freddy Rodriguez) set out looking for work they end up falling back into the life of crime and drugs they so nearly turned their backs on completely.

This is not an easy film to watch. Nor is it happy. What you do get though is a gripping story, wonderfully shot and directed that takes you by surprise and doesn’t sugar coat anything. It portrays the disparity of the lead characters very well and is easily the best movie of its type… because it’s the only one.

Monster (2003)

My final recommendation this month is the true story of prostitute turned serial killer, Aileen Wuornos. Monster is an unflinching look at how Aileen (Charlize Theron) went from ageing prostitute to killing out of necessity to killing for money to being convicted and sentenced to death by the state of Florida and her odd friendship-come-love-affair with young runaway Selby played by Christina Ricci.

Brutal and honest, Monster is about as depressing as they come but the superb direction and Oscar winning performance from Theron simply steal the show. Very few true crime stories are as well done and hard-hitting as Monster. A true masterpiece.

A word of advice before I leave you; Don’t watch all these movies in one go. I don’t want your suicides on my conscience. Next time I think I’ll go for some comedies…