Minute44 - Dan Schonhaar

Directed by: Scott Stewart
Starring: Paul Bettany, Dennis Quaid, Lucas Black

Tired of mankind’s wicked ways, God has had enough. He instructs his general; The Archangel Michael (Bettany), to lead his army to earth to exterminate the human race for good. Convinced that there is still hope for man, Michael gives God the finger, heads down to Earth and cuts off his wings, transubstantiating into complete human form and heads to a diner in the middle of nowhere. There he meets up with a motley crew of misfits including a woman pregnant with man’s only saviour. It is here the final battle for mankind’s survival will unfold. Oh yeah, did I mention that Michael has a fuck load of guns? Probably should have.

Got all that? Good. Legion had some decent potential. Constantine mixed with Assault on Precinct 13 mixed with The Prophecy… with MOAR GUNZ!? Hell yeah it sounds like something I could get on board with. The reality, however wasn’t so great. In fact, it was downright disappointing. Not the plot or premise so much but the execution.

First of all, the dialogue was apparently written by a 5 year old. Subtle and nuanced is most certainly was not. Plus, I got the distinct impression that at certain (seemingly random) points during a scene that someone behind the camera gave the actors a signal to throw in an arbitrary F-Bomb. That’s how asinine it was. The only saving grace here was Charles S. Dutton gave the best dialogue of the whole movie and a pretty decent gag related to his character’s prosthetic hand.

Next big problem was how dark the bloody thing was. I appreciate that it probably didn’t have a monumental budget but come on, guy! Shrouding everything in total darkness might cover your bargain basement CGI but it’s fucking annoying. Did AVP2 not teach us anything!? Had it not been for this, the movie might have just been passable as a semi-decent Saturday afternoon actionfest… but no, the bastards ruined that too!

The final nail in the coffin for this debacle is the fact that it used every cliche in the book! Not just the action and scenes, things like 9mm MP5s that can not only shred cars from 500m away but also never run out of bullets, but even the camera work! It seemed like every other shot was a panning close-up of a person or object with a horribly executed shallow depth of field that looked like a faux tilt-shift photoshop effect.

“At least we get to see a kick ass fight between some hard-core angels and shit right?” No. You see 2 minutes of hopelessly dark blurry CGI followed by some bullshit cop-out of an ending that will leave you going “What… but what about the… WHAT!??! Oh fuck you, movie!”

So yeah, Not so much.

Verdict:

Directed by: Martin Campbell
Starring: Mel Gibson, Ray Winstone, Danny Huston

When his daughter is gunned down in front of him, aging detective Thomas Craven (Mel Gibson) begins an investigation that will lead him into the darkest realms of corporate conspiracy and government corruption. Edge of Darkness sees Gibson return to kicking ass and taking names and also stars Ray Winstone and Danny Huston.

The most notable thing about this movie is that you don’t get what the trailers lead you to believe you’ll be getting. From the very first (and very gory) death scene, Edge of Darkness is a fast paced revenge come man-with-nothing-left-to-lose tell with some great suspense and a marvelous performance from Gibson. Anyone who thinks he’s too old can sit down and shut up!

Truth be told, this movie has a great deal in common with Taken, a movie that received mixed reviews but I, personally loved every ass-kicking minute of. What Edge of Darkness has, however that Taken didn’t have is a surprisingly complex plot involving a rather large amount of characters. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not as complicated as something like Primer but it’s not your average brain-dead shoot-em-up either. The number of characters, however did the movie one small injustice in that, at times the pace was a little jittery and fractured as newly introduced characters are developed (as with Ray Winstone’s character) outside the context of the main plot.

This flaw is only a minor one, however and the sheer adrenaline and ferocity of Mel Gibson’s character are enough to satisfactorily fill any cracks that may appear. The flaw that costs the movie the fifth star, though is the ending… I mean the very ending… I mean literally the 30 seconds before the end credits roll which, because of spoilers I won’t go into. It almost felt like an afterthought, or maybe even an added extra thrown in at the whim of a certain aging Christianity enthusiast… say no more. The scene that directly precedes this could have been played up a lot more to create a far more satisfying finale (think the end of Watchmen).

All things considered, Edge of Darkness remains an extremely accomplished and entertaining conspiracy thriller with enough thematic backbone to stand up to all the action, bullets and snappy dialogue that the director and star could throw at it.

Verdict:

Okay so because of work and other stuff I’ve missed my Valentines day launch so my romantic movies can wait for now. What I do have though is a bit of a mixed bag. Some new sci-fi, a bit of feel-good teen comedy and what is simply the most horrific movie I’ve ever seen… seriously.

Continue reading Movie Recommendations: February ‘10 Part II

Well maybe book is a bit ambitious. Perhaps one day it could become a book but for now I’d settle for any kind of published media. I could do it on this blog but I’d like to keep this focused on movies and some tech. Also once it’s finished I don’t want it to become buried in other content as and when I publish it. So maybe a new website all together…

Continue reading I want to write a book… Kind of.

I know that last time I said I’d give you some comedies to make up for the nasty shit I recommended but as I was thinking about what to share with you this time I just got more violence and scary stuff. Oh well, Maybe I’ll write a piece on Steve Martin or something next time to lighten it up. Anyway, here are  5 more movies for you to wile away the hours.

Continue reading Movie Recommendations: February ‘10 Part I

So I’m back again with more movies for you. I thought I’d give this one a more solid theme and have chosen 5 movies that, while excellent, are not very nice. They are all violent in the extreme and some are quite depressing but they are all great. So let’s get started with five movies that you may never forgive me for recommending.

Continue reading Movie Recommendations January ‘10 part II